To me, what makes a book good?
It makes me think. I can identify it. It allows me to explore the inner workings of Sonja. Usually, the places that these books lead me aren't so comfortable.
Last night I read the story of "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" by Robert Louis Stevenson.
Not quite sure how I got to 25 without reading this before, but I bought it Sunday. I knew the story, of course. Last night I read it.
The story of splitting up yourself good vs evil is not new to me. Star Trek's "The Enemy Within" had Kirk split up.
But there was a line in there where Dr. Jekyll goes that he imagines that man will one day not only be able to split his "evil" self off, but other parts of himself as well.
So...I started thinking. So yes, I classify it as a good book.
What if it was possible to merely drink a potion and to turn into something that you think you want to be?
What would I do?
I would drink a potion that was pink and blue and rid myself of all drive to have babies.
Oh, how happy I would be!
I could go to Toys R Us and not be up late feeling sad. Wouldn't be tormented that night by nightmares of baby blankets (that was Saturday, it was not fun).
I could log onto Facebook and be happy for my friends who are expecting and always post kid pictures.
I could go to malls and zoos and parks and events without wondering first "will there be pregnant women or babies there?" and if there were, so what? I wouldn't think twice. Or even once.
*smile*
Oh! how nice it would be to be free from my pain and torment! To not feel the indescribable longing and emptiness in my heart and in my arms!
Then, a scene from Star Trek V pops into my head, where Sybok took away Dr. McCoy's pain and McCoy wants Sybok to do the same to Kirk, to which he responds:
"Damn it, Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!"
*smile fades*
Would I be better off without the pang of infertility?
This past 11 months, dealing with my hysterectomy has taught me so much about life and about myself. Would I really want to give that up?
And would I really give up the memories of the kids that I cannot carry, or maybe have? If I don't think of them, no one else will.
I guess I'd take a long, long look at the potion...and wouldn't drink it.
...but I wouldn't burn the recipe.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde, Capt Kirk, & Sonja
Tags:
dreams,
hysterectomy,
infertility,
Star Trek
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Very nicely worded, Sonja. And I do think about your unborn children every time I upload pictures of Asta to Facebook. I wish I could just upload them to Shutterfly so you didn't have to see them all the time-but I figure you also don't want to read comments from everyone nagging me to add more pics of her. {HUGS}
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who was meant to read this. You are only a few steps ahead of her in your journey. Thank you for sharing. I came from the creme.
ReplyDeleteHere via Creme de la Creme. Very nice post. My mom asked me one day wouldn't I just like to have never been through some specific bad times. I answered no, because when you make it through the bad times and look back, you are so much more grateful for the good times. How would you know how good they were without the contrasting bad?
ReplyDeletePopping in from the crème de la crème list.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I wrote a post about the same theme a good while back. I would have taken the potion, that was my conclusion at the time. Life would have been different, I would have been different, but I didn't want to be who I was then.