We watched an episode of Doctor Who called "Blink." It concerns an alien race called the Weeping Angels, who instead of killing you right off, when you look at them and blink, they send you back into the past where you live off your life. "You die in the past, and in the present they consume the energy of all the days you might have had, all your stolen moments. They're creatures of the abstract. They live off potential energy." ―The Doctor describing the Weeping Angels (from the Doctor Who Wiki).
Days you might have had.
Stolen moments.
Potential energy.
Does this not describe infertility?
That's one of the hardest things to deal with. As much as I try to live in the present moment, I know what I have lost, and what I have lost will continue to be a loss for the rest of my life.
But the key is that yeah, life might not have gone the way you thought it would (it would be cool, albeit a shock, to end up sometime in the past and have to blend in), but you still have life. One of the greatest things about being human is our spirit, our adaptability, our resolve. There will still be days ahead. There will still be special moments. Huge potential. The trick is to remember that.
But that doesn't mean I won't weep.
Days you might have had.
Stolen moments.
Potential energy.
Does this not describe infertility?
That's one of the hardest things to deal with. As much as I try to live in the present moment, I know what I have lost, and what I have lost will continue to be a loss for the rest of my life.
But the key is that yeah, life might not have gone the way you thought it would (it would be cool, albeit a shock, to end up sometime in the past and have to blend in), but you still have life. One of the greatest things about being human is our spirit, our adaptability, our resolve. There will still be days ahead. There will still be special moments. Huge potential. The trick is to remember that.
But that doesn't mean I won't weep.
You think. A lot. But not in a bad way...you just boggle my mind. I watch a movie or tv show, and I'm watching pictures and listening to sound. I don't absorb it, I don't try to. I guess I just like taking the escape route of drifting off to get my mind off of things. But it's crazy, Aaron and someone will be talking about the plot of a movie, and I will have seen the movie ten times and still not bothered to pay attention as to what it's about. You are a smart woman, Sonja : ) Keep on keeping on.
ReplyDeleteThat episode made me think quite a bit too.
ReplyDeleteAnd as usual you've said everything I'd say... but many times better lol! :) ((hugs)) And I'm not sure how to say the rest of what I'm thinking with this entry... one of these days my headaches will go away and I'll get some more functionality from my brain again (I hope!!!) and go back through your blog and say all the things I've wanted to say over the past month and couldn't get out! ((hugs))
But the key is that yeah, life might not have gone the way you thought it would (it would be cool, albeit a shock, to end up sometime in the past and have to blend in), but you still have life. One of the greatest things about being human is our spirit, our adaptability, our resolve. There will still be days ahead. There will still be special moments. Huge potential. The trick is to remember that. This part here is something I think of/about a lot and I completely agree with you!