I submit to you three blurbs in the Demented Humor Zone that happened this week:
One of the best things about my bf Justin2 is that he makes me laugh even if I don't feel like it. Here we are chatting after he told me about a friend's possible pregnancy:
Justin2: are you really crying?
Sonja: yes
Justin2: why
Sonja: i don't take pregnancy announcements well
Justin2: i think we need to smother you in them so you become numb about the topic
Sonja: not gonna ever happen
Justin2: and put dolls all around you. you can rip the heads off
Sonja: i did that as a kid
Justin2: and drink hot coco from them
Sonja: meh
...
Sonja: there i'm better now
Sonja: out of my system
Justin2: like a fart?
Sonja: not quite
Sonja: but close
Sonja: it's not a warm fuzzy feeling
Justin2: but farting is?
Sonja: yes
Justin2: creepy
Sonja: hearing a pregnancy announcement is like having my heart ripped out and stepped on and stabbed and thrown into a black hole
Sonja: i'd much rather fart
Justin2: ok
Justin2: fart away
Sonja: lol
Justin2: just dont shit yourself
...
Sonja: hysterectomies never happen in disney movies, this shit is NOT supposed to happen
Justin2: what?
Justin2: It was in the extended cut of aladin
Sonja: oh yeah?
Justin2: and cinderella
Justin2: and the little mermaid
Justin2: but they ended up making her in to tuna
Sonja: LOL
Justin2: under the sea
Sonja: lol
Then, the other day my friend Jenny and I were really being silly about endo, pain, and sex, go read about it here.
Yesterday, my friend Sara and I were chatting on how we needed a vacation, but I pointed out that neither of us are working so it's not possible at the moment, and she replies, "We need a vacation from not being able to work!"
Today I texted my dad that he paid for the cheapest boob job ever by buying my new birth control pill pack. He responded, "Just what a father wants to hear! Do I call you the big boob now?"
"You can call me Boob if you want to."
Then we got into a discussion about What About Bob?
